Fear < Jesus

I think sometimes pain and fear cause us to curl up in a feral state of absence. Be as contradictory as that statement seems to be. Afraid to let anyone close, to inspect or heal our wounds, and distrusting all. At least, that's how I find it for myself. Survival by ignoring the pain until it slams me so absolute in the chest that I can no longer breathe, not realizing that all the while I wasn't breathing anyways. In that realization comes the feral lashing out, and then re-hibernation. I think by leaving it to time, or licking at my wounds by my own strength, that eventually, somehow, the pain will subside rather than overtake me. And instead of trusting the ultimate Healer to come in and heal me anew, I avoid His intimate touch and instead trust in myself - the very reason I'm afflicted by so much pain in the first place. I hold onto my pain with ferocity, matched and defeated only by the ferocity of His jealousy for me. Pain sucks, but fear intensifies it beyond anything but the love of Jesus can refute.