Turns out its not all about me.

Tonight I was sitting in the sanctuary of this place that I come to so often.
In awe I was reminded of how many stories have started here.
But I suppose reminded isn't the correct term, for I barely know any of them.
But those I do know, those I've seen, heard of or experienced... that's real.

I was reminded, once again, what all of this is about. And how that "what" is why I do "what I do".
I think of the darkest parts of my life. The most hopeless, fearful, pain-ridden places of my life, and then I look at what God has done with that.
I know there are others around me who know darkness, they've seen trial, pain, shame and fear. Yet God has been our healer, redeemer, giver of hope and joy and life again.

I'm here because I know what that darkness feels like. I know its drowning, deafening. But I also know life again. I know healing, I know love and grace. And I want people to know its possible.

And I want the world to know why its possible.

Its possible because of a great God.
A mighty one.
An all-loving one.
A holy God.
Our redeemer.
My gracious reason to not be afraid.
Someone to trust with my past, present and future.
MY HEALER.
The King.

Mad Genius

I just found out my grandfather has a tested IQ of 182. He is also schizophrenic.

This fascinates me.

Family Culture

Mom: "Mother, you always expected me to have perfect grades!"
Grandma: "I did not...?"
Mom: "Yes you did, I was in huge trouble if I didn't have STRAIGHT A's."
Grandma: "Well, no... I don't.. it didn't have to be A's.."
Mom: "Yes it did. I couldn't get B's or C's like average students."
Grandma: "Now Tonya, that's because YOU are Japanese."