Burdened by the hopelessness that surrounds

I'd name her something sweet.

Sometimes I think I want a cat. But then I realize I’m allergic… & I’m not actually a fan of cats, or their hair, or their boxes. So really, sometimes I just always want someone to come home to.

Live in His Grace, Extend His Grace

The moment we are given the ability to see fault in other Christians is the very same moment we are given the responsibility to extend grace in full & trust God to do work in them.

my Portion forever.

The Holy Spirit has been posing to me the most raw & heart provoking question lately…

“Am I enough for you if you had nothing else?”

But also, “Am I enough if you had everything else?”

Paraprosdokian, An Original.

If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you; I’d be a millionaire. Too bad money can’t buy happiness.

Judas Kiss

“Betrayal, no matter how painful, can serve to sharpen our resolve and direct our purpose. The choice of how to act when one has been betrayed demonstrates our trust in God, and our faith in the restorative power of Christ.” - Pastor Jason Standfield

I know this, so undeniably, to be true. I hurt thinking of how Jesus felt to be betrayed by Judas, and I pay attention to how He treated Judas anyways. Grace & forgiveness. How incomprehensible.

“When things go well, it’s possible to live for years on the surface, but when sorrow comes, we are driven to the deep, where strength & beauty will enter our souls.”

—	A Nobody (via zacgandara)

Give people the freedom to be who they are in front of God.

Be who you are in front of God.

Connect with Him in a way just as unique as He created you, unique.

One Wish

Today I was asked, what would it be, if I could have just one wish? We bantered of millions, of happiness, of “more” wishes, etc. Some good & noble wishes were posed. But then it hit me. Hard.

If I had but one wish, just one. It would be that I could never hurt others, God or myself again.

I don’t know where that falls in with “needing Jesus,” for I would never want to not need Him. But I do know that the pain I’ve caused others and myself bring me to deep remorse. And I want nothing more to glorify and please my Beloved King and Savior.

My Very 1st Dada Poem :)

I’ve been caught up in sweet hope and adoration of His Bride.

“THE LORD … is my song,” says Isaiah (12:2). That is to say, the Lord is the giver of our songs. He breathes the music into the hearts of His people; He is the Creator of their joy. The Lord is also the subject of their songs. They sing of Him and of all that He does on their behalf. The Lord is, moreover, the object of their song; they sing to the Lord. Their praise is meant for Him alone. They do not make melody for human ears, but to the Lord. “The LORD … is my song.” Then I ought always to sing. And if I sing my loudest, I can never reach the height of this great argument, nor come to the end of it. This song never changes. If I live by faith my song is always the same, for “the LORD … is my song.” Our song to God is God Himself. He alone can express our intensest joy. O God, You are my exceeding joy. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, You are my hymn of everlasting delight.” —Spurgeon

A Painful Addiction

So often the urge to abandon our faith and freedom in Christ is most prominent among life’s greatest challenges; when we sit fully accompanied by our shame, or our anger, and most definitely our pain. 

I imagine pain as a grand temptress. So sly, so enticing. She arouses the anger. Entraps with schemes of entitlement, of unexamined reaction. She rips away the desire to share the grace and love that is so desperately cried out for when we ourselves need to be adorned in it by a passionate Savior. Bitterness is harbored as though its the sweetest thing to be choked down. An addiction. 

"Let It Go" - The Lonely Forest

Pierced in the heart
By a sinister dark
Thrown from and insecure tongue
Unaware of the arrow sticking out of her chest
Embedded when she was so young

I never would have thought 
that the poison would rot
away and away and away
It eats at her pride, and she constantly hides
Afraid of what others will say

And often at night 
She turns out the light
Anxiously waiting for sleep
The world of her dreams is better it seems
There she can finally be free

But the arrow it stays
its there when she wakes
Binding her feet to the ground
Perpetually holding her back from her goals
A mountain she can’t get around

Let it go dear
And let your worries fall
Let it go dear
Nothing to fear at all
Let it go dear

Now she is old
Her body is cold 
Alone in the bed as she cries
Nobody visits and tells her how alone
She quietly closes her eyes

Through all of her days
Arrows remain
Never permitting release
And with her last breath she is waiting for death
Hoping for Peace

Let it go dear
And let your worries fall
Let it go, dear
Nothing to fear at all
Let it go, dear

Let it go, dear

On Loving God

"At first, man loves himself for his own sake. That is the flesh, which can appreciate nothing beyond itself. Next, he perceives that he cannot exist by himself, and so begins by faith to seek after God, and to love Him as something necessary to his own welfare. That is the second degree, to love God, not for God's sake, but selfishly. But when he has learned to worship God and to seek Him aright, meditating on God, reading God's Word, praying and obeying His commandmemts, he comes gradually to know who God is, and finds Him altogether lovely. So, having tasted and seen how gracious the Lord is (Psalm 34:8), he advances to the third degree, when he loves God, not merely as his benefactor but as God. Surely this it the longest state for the one who is growing in God. As to the fourth degree, I know not whether it would be possible to make further progress in this life to that fourth degree and perfect condition wherein man loves himself solely for God's sake. Let any who have attained so far bear record; I confess it seems beyond my powers. Doubtless it will be reached when the good and faithful servant shall have entered into the joy of his Lord (Matthew 25:21), and been satisfsfied with the plentesousness of God's house (Psalm 36:8). For then in wondrous wise he will forget himself and as if delivered from self, he will grow wholly God's."
- Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

Most recently I have been pondering this matter. Loving God. Falling in love with Jesus. I feel as though this articulates that which  my heart attempts to organize and understand. A lovely aspect of it is that it is a journey. Moving forward; to the next degree. So, there is no need to despair at one's current placement - but rather have hopeful anticipation and pursuit of the next. Such strong reliance we must have on Him.