When I express anything related to social justice or the empowerment of women on public forum, the only people who have ever lash out are the very women who were the strong leaders in my life during adolescence. I find that ironic.
And fucking irritating.
I'm not trying to personalize the things that they do, but unfortunately that's hard to do because...
I grew up with them talking about their past youth that are now such disappointments to them - for various reasons.
I grew up with them using shame-tactics to control me into being who they thought I should be.
And I grew up believing that their opinion mattered more than just about anyone else.
So yeah, I take it personally when they all jump in defensively to respond to posts that I post.
I take it personally when I share something that I view is important, one person responds disapprovingly - and the rest of them all "like" that person's comment.
I take it personally enough that it takes a whole lot of courage every time I post anything that is not 100% agreeable and mild. And I don't post often.
I imagine the conversations they have about me. While, they may not happen - the reality is, I've sat in on those conversations about other people for years. About how they're wrong or bad or misguided or enemy.
And it hurts thinking that they're labeling me those things. That they don't take the time to understand how I could possibly have come to the place that I am. How I could possibly have some credibility. Instead I'm just too far gone to them. They can't see me anymore, they just see enemy, or misguided child.
But what's most upsetting of all is that every single disapproving comment or "like" of a disapproving comment towards my posts is saying,
Get back in line.
Be meek.
Be silent.
But guess what? I can't do any of those things anymore. Not ever.
I am STRONG and LOUD and I will never stand in line again; because I am FREE.
